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Episode 2 "Onboard"
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Episode 2 ("Onboard") is the second chapter of Dispatch. In this episode, Robert Robertson begins his first day working at SDN (Superhero Dispatch Network) and meets the Z-Team, the ragtag group of heroes under his command. The Phoenix Program is a special rehabilitation program where conscripted criminals, anti-heroes, and vigilantes sign up to help SDN subscribers in the hopes of becoming heroes. The episode includes the uniform scene, early office conversations, the complicated dispatch shift, the Granny's Donuts incident, and the final workplace check-in with Blonde Blazer and Chase.
Full Transcript
Episode 2 – "Onboard"
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SCENE 1: SDN WAITING LOUNGE
Setting: Robert is waiting in the SDN lounge. A commercial featuring Phenomaman plays on a television.
Guitar Mom: Oh dang it. I'm gonna be late for band practice.
Phenomaman: Unexpected things happen every day.
Guitar Mom: Phenomaman! Can SDN help me out with this? It's blocking the driveway.
Phenomaman: You can count on SDN to help lift the burdens life throws at us.
Phenomaman: Let SDN be your rock... so you... can rock.
Commercial Voice on tv: SDN IS NOT AN INSURANCE COMPANY AND DOES NOT COVER DAMAGES TO PROPERTY, PERSONS, OR ANIMALS.
Robert: She's definitely not making it to band practice.
Waterboy: Heh yeah, wha -- wait what's that?
Robert: Hmm? No. Just uh, the... the commercial. It was weird.
Waterboy: Weird, yeah, right? Phenoma-ma-ma-man... he is-- he's like a rock star.
Waterboy: It's a-- I'm joking, cause of the rock... roll... cool-- cool commercial. I'm a Phenomenafan you-- you might-- you could say-- that.
---
SCENE 1A: WATERBOY CONVERSATION (CHOICE)
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Not a great actor."
> Robert: He's not the best actor though. Which was important for that commercial to be less... um, weird.
> Waterboy: He is the best actor-- well, acting when there's dange-- I think if, the whole worlds is a play then...he's still awesome.
> Robert: Can't argue that.
> Option 2 - "He's phenomenal."
> Robert: He seems cool... phenomenal even... and quite the salesman.
> Waterboy: Oh yeah. He can sell snowballs to a-- Eski-- is it not-- not cool to say--
> Waterboy: Snowman. He could sell snowballs to a snow... person... anyone made of snow. Any color snow, doesn't have to be white.
> Option 3 - "Seems like a jerk."
> Robert: I hate to break it to ya, I heard he's a jerk in real life. Most big heroes are.
> Waterboy: What-- jerk? No, no, no, no. I don't think so.
Waterboy: Oh god, okay, yep, that's not right, that is not right, that is--
Robert: Just--okay let me help you with that.
Waterboy: Oh-- no... note... not necessary if-- I'm sure I...
Robert: It's soaked. You nervous? Big job interview?
Waterboy: No. I mean-- yes, but no yes is more-- my powers make everything we-- moist. Waterboy is how they-- call me... But yes, I am-- Yes, I am interviewing and I'm nervous-- on edge of... yeah, yes but honestly I'm nervous most of the time so...oh okay.
Waterboy: Now that you- your face is next-aside-a my face... I see that I know you-- of you. You're Mecha Man-- I... you're dead... I thought.
Robert: Just on the inside.
Waterboy: You uh... look small-- different in person.
Robert: Never meet your heroes, kid.
Blonde Blazer: Oh, wasn't sure you'd show up.
Waterboy: Oh-- wuh-- wow. Blazer-- Blonde. A real hero!
Blonde Blazer: Oh, sorry, but I need him for something. Follow me.
---
SCENE 2: CONFERENCE ROOM - UNIFORM
Setting: Blonde Blazer leads Robert to a conference room for him to change into his SDN dispatcher uniform.
Blonde Blazer: Take your clothes off.
Robert: Uh, what's happening right now?
Blonde Blazer: We don't want too many people knowing you're Mecha Man. A lot of our dispatchers are former heroes, but it's better if you keep your identity a secret. We've had incidents in the past. Here.
Blonde Blazer: I remembered you being bigger... I was a little drunk-- listen, it's gonna be great.
Robert: I've never felt silly wearing this...
Blonde Blazer: Until now?
Robert: Yeah. I was trying to imply that with the silence.
Blonde Blazer: It worked. Get dressed. I have somebody I need you to meet.
Blonde Blazer: Oh, sorry. Should I turn around? Or? What do you...
Blonde Blazer: Uhh should I close my eyes maybe? If that makes you more comfortable.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "I don't mind."
> Robert: It's fine. I don't mind.
> Blonde Blazer: Oh, yeah, no... it's, it's-- sure.
> Robert: I mean, don't stare me straight in the eyes or anything, cause that'd be odd--
> Option 2 - "No peeking."
> Robert: No peeking.
> Option 3 - "Is this an HR violation?"
> Robert: Well, this might be the fastest HR violation of a new employee in history.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah-- I'll actually, yeah I'm just gonna -- there.
Robert: It doesn't look like it, but I am flexing every muscle in my body right now.
Blonde Blazer: Really?
Robert: Okay, well you didn't have to say it like that.
Blonde Blazer: I, I want to say, again, I'm sorry about last night. I regret the way I conducted myself. It was... a mistake...
Blonde Blazer: A complicated mistake... I can go into the details of those complications with you later.
Robert's dialogue options regarding last night:
> Option 1 - "Didn't feel like a mistake." (No change)
> Robert: Didn't feel like a mistake... at least not to me.
> Blonde Blazer: Well, that makes one of us.
> Option 2 - "I'll take your lead." (Relationship increases)
> Robert: Look, I'll take your lead. So, if it's complicated, or whatever, just you know, let me know when it isn't...
> Option 3 - "We were drunk." (Relationship decreases)
> Robert: Look, we were both a little tipsy-- got lost in the moment. You know it's totally understandable.
Robert: It was a nice night. Nothing more than that.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah I'd like to keep things, professional.
Robert: Right, that's why you brought me to this conference room to strip down in front of you. Profesh--
Blonde Blazer: Are you serious?
Invisigal: Who locks a conference room?
Invisigal: So, uh, you two fuck or what?
---
SCENE 2A: INVISIGAL INTRODUCTION
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "We kissed, but it was very innocent."
> Robert: We kissed, but it was very innocent.
> Invisigal: Like, cheek innocent or tip of your dick innocent?
> Blonde Blazer: Okay stop. First of all, WE did not kiss, you kissed me. Second of all, it's none of your freaking business.
> Invisigal: Whoa. She cussed. Musta been a good one.
> Blonde Blazer: Robert, this is Invisigal.
> Option 2 - "No professional lines were crossed."
> Robert: No professional lines were crossed.
> Invisigal: Oh, right, right. So, just like, grinding? Clothes on stuff?
> Blonde Blazer: Visi, knock it off. I just got a little tipsy at our meeting.
> Robert: A meeting? Is that what it was?
Blonde Blazer: She is part of the Phoenix Program. We take former super villains, such as herself, and rehabilitate them to reenter society to use their powers for -- are those my earrings?
Invisigal: They look better on me.
Blonde Blazer: Invisigal, this is Robert. He'll be your team's Dispatcher.
Invisigal: A washed up dad bod superhero with no superpowers... Can't wait.
Blonde Blazer: His identity, all of this, that's staying between us. He's still Mecha Man, but that can't get out... and if it does, I'll know who it came from.
Invisigal: You think I want to tell people our dispatcher's a fuckin' loser?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Powers don't make you a hero."
> Robert: Having superpowers doesn't automatically make you a superhero. You're born with one... you have to earn the other.
> Option 2 - "Let's make the best of it."
> Robert: Look, you might think these are less than ideal circumstances, but it's something you need to get used to. When you're out in the field, even the best laid plans can fail. So out there or in here, we do what we can... we make the best of it.
> Option 3 - "I'm here to help."
> Robert: Look, I'm here to help. It's what I do. You have a chance to turn things around, bring some good into the world and I'll support you in whatever way possible, so that maybe, just maybe, by the end of all this, helping people is what you do too.
Invisigal: Well, I'm wet. I see why you like him. Look at that drip. What is that look? Best Buy Fight Club? Fuckin' hot.
Blonde Blazer: We have a weekly ranking list for all the heroes in the company...
Robert: And she's at the bottom.
Blonde Blazer: She called herself Invisibitch when she was a villain. We're trying to rebrand her.
Robert: Yeah, I thought Invisigal felt kinda corny for her.
Blonde Blazer: Oh yeah? The name was my idea... just get your shirt on dad bod.
---
SCENE 3: OFFICE TOUR
Setting: Blonde Blazer shows Robert around the SDN Torrance branch office.
Office Worker: This is SDN. How can we help you?
Blonde Blazer: We're not the highest profile branch in the network, but we've got what makes the real difference... great people. Some of them aren't even people, and they're still great.
Blonde Blazer: One of three copiers on this floor. Fax. Scan. Does literally everything. Documentation, one of the three 'D's' at SDN.
Blonde Blazer: There tends to be a healthy amount of paperwork. I used to call it triple D's but I was informed that had a different connotation...
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "How many heroes work here?"
> Robert: How many heroes do you have here?
> Blonde Blazer: Network wide, we're over three hundred. Here at the Torrance branch we've got somewhere between forty-five and fifty depending on our roster at any given time, working different shifts.
> Option 2 - "Three D's?"
> Robert: Three D's?
> Blonde Blazer: Dispatching... Documentation... Diversity is the third. Not in terms of priority of course.
> Option 3 - "What heroes do you hire?"
> Robert: What kind of heroes end up here?
> Blonde Blazer: Oh, all sorts. Some that are tired of doing it themselves. Some heroes who prefer teams.
> Robert: And some that used to be called Invisibitch. Quite the eclectic roster.
Blonde Blazer: Yup, we're all about diversity.
Blonde Blazer: Lana works in the mailroom, from a different galaxy altogether.
Blonde Blazer: And then there's Galen... way back there. Born with super hearing. He's from... I wanna say...
Galen: Florida.
Blonde Blazer: Florida. Of course. Florida man over there. Hey, easy on the bath salts.
Galen: That was one guy.
Robert: Hey, speaking of bath, where is the uh...
Blonde Blazer: Need a bio break?
Robert: Excuse me?
Blonde Blazer: Restroom. I mean. It's right over there. Sorry. At work I tend to get a little...
Robert: Corny?
Blonde Blazer: Corporate. Dick. Meet me in the Records Room when you're done. If you get lost look for the door that says Records Room.
---
SCENE 4: RESTROOM - MEETING ROYD
Setting: Robert goes to the restroom where he encounters Royd, the tech specialist who will be repairing the Mecha Man suit.
Royd: Ohhh. Brah, almos' went in my pants.
Royd: Aye, you dis Robert people talkin about? Wassup bruddah, my auntie name me Roy, but people call me Royd.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Bro Fist" (Relationship improves)
> Royd: Aurite. Good to meet you, brah.
> Robert: Likewise.
> Option 2 - "Do Not Bro Fist" (Relationship worsens)
> Royd: Oh oh oh, my bad. My bad. You think I touch my ding-a-ling cuz we stay in da lua.
> Robert: Kinda part of the process.
> Royd: No need worry, bruddah. It's okay.
Robert: So, Royd... like, like steroid?
Royd: Huh? Hell no bruddah. No. No. No, no cuz. Listen, listen-- They're tree uddah guys here go by the name Roy. So I tink it's like you know we go scrap, we go ground, I buss you up and then you know, you got Roy'd. You know what I'm saying bruh. That's... what I...that's what I think...
Royd: Aye, you think that's why they call me Royd? Like I'm on steroids?
Royd: Cause they think I some kinna juice head? They think I not natty bro? They think Royd not natty?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "No, I'm just kidding."
> Robert: No, I'm just kidding, man. Just makin jokes... about your name... in the shitter.
> Option 2 - "Doubt it's a coincidence."
> Robert: Look, it's not my business, but... I don't think it's a coincidence. Sorry.
> Option 3 - "I don't know."
> Robert: Man, I have no idea. I just-- you know look, I'm just trying to wash my hands.
> Royd: You brought it up, bruddah.
> Robert: Yeah and I'm so sorry I did that.
Royd: Whateva. Ainokea.
Robert: That's-- yeah. Nokia...ing is probably best.
Robert: Nice meeting you, Royd. Even if it was while we were both holding our dicks.
Royd: You one funny bugga... Mecha Man.
Robert: Okay, so I was worried about your unwashed hand but now I'm worried that everyone here knows who I am.
Royd: Nah, bruddah. It's kapu. Need to know basis and Royd need to know. I da one who come pick up yo suit for fix on for da SDN.
Robert: Cool. You gonna wash before you do that?
Royd: Nah bro, I neva touch nothin'. Just my touch pants, underwear only. Even fo shake. I just do like dis.
Robert: Can you show me again, I don't think I got it.
---
SCENE 5: RECORDS ROOM - MEETING CHASE (TRACK STAR)
Setting: Robert enters the Records Room and meets an elderly man who is actually Chase, formerly known as the superhero Track Star.
Very Old Man (Chase): Holy shit. Who's this freckle faced fuck? How are ya?
Robert: That's an aggressive way to greet someone--
Very Old Man (Chase): Look at this skinny latte prick. You're bones, Kid.
Very Old Man (Chase): You here to whip these assholes into shape or what?
Blonde Blazer: That's the idea.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Do I know you?"
> Robert: Uhm, I'm sorry, do I know you?
> Very Old Man (Chase): Why're you all tense?
> Option 2 - "Can you not do this?"
> Robert: Admittedly, I haven't had a hug in a while, but could you maybe not?
> Option 3 - "Why is this happening?"
> Robert: Why is this happening?
Very Old Man (Chase): What? It's a hug. Not a handjob. Lighten up.
Robert: Be that as it may, I'm still confused...
Very Old Man (Chase): Oh. Right. Cause I'm old as shit. How about this. This jog your memory?
Robert: Track Star? Holy shit!
Chase: Yeah, ya fucker. Why're you accepting hugs from old men ya don't know? Oh, and hey, they call me Chase around here so keep it...you know.
Robert: Sure, right, yeah, Chase.
Chase: It's been, what? Ten, fifteen years?
Blonde Blazer: Has it really been that long?
Chase: Yeah, I reached out to this little pissant when his dad passed. Then he got to duckin' me like he owed me money.
Robert: I was in a weird place.
Chase: I understand, kid. It was tough on all of us, so I can't imagine what you went through.
Robert: Yeah. So, what's up? You gonna tell me why you look like black Einstein?
Blonde Blazer: Sorry. I never noticed.
Chase: Fucker. It's the powers. I could move fifty times faster than the average person, but I didn't realize until it was too late that I was aging fifty times faster when I used my powers.
Chase: Nowadays I'm movin' slower than frozen piss to keep the ole ticker from poppin' on me.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "That's cruel."
> Robert: That's a pretty cruel fate, Chase. What kinda awful shit did you do to deserve that?
> Chase: Right? This is some war criminal level punishment. No, I was just out tryin' to help people like a fuckin' chump. This is why I know karma is bullshit.
> Option 2 - "I'm so sorry."
> Robert: I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Chase.
> Chase: Hey, if I feel another ounce of pity from you, I will run you over in the parking lot and say it was an accident. They'll believe me cause it looks like I'm wearin' diapers.
> Option 3 - "So, how old are you?"
> Robert: Then how old are you really?
> Chase: I turned thirty-nine a few months ago. Went to Dave and Busters. Shit was lit.
Robert: So, I guess this means you're the one person I can't complain to about losing my suit.
Chase: You better not. I would resurrect then rekill your fuckin father in front of you if it meant being able to use my powers again.
Blonde Blazer: Jesus, Chase.
Chase: What? Obviously, I'd let Robert have one last "I love you" before I... before I extinguish the light from his eyes.
Blonde Blazer: Was he always like this?
Robert: Yes, actually.
Chase: We joke. We laugh. We suppress our trauma.
Chase: Alright, enough of this feelings shit, let's introduce you to your team of losers.
Chase: Now, if I'm being honest, I thought, and still think, we shoulda canned these tunas months ago.
Blonde Blazer: And you might get your wish. Cause if we don't see improvement soon, the whole program will be scrapped.
Robert: Cool. No pressure.
---
SCENE 6: PHOENIX PROGRAM - TEAM DOSSIERS
Setting: Chase boots up old computers and Robert clicks through the roster of reformed super villains. The Phoenix Program, also known as the Z-Team, is a rehabilitation program for former villains to become heroes.
Robert: Wait, so uh the Z-Team, my team... they're Phoenix Program?
Blonde Blazer: That is correct.
Chase: Your own motley crew of dangerous fuck ups.
Blonde Blazer: We're not looking for miracles... but we'd love one if we can get it. Can you show him his desk?
Chase: Sure.
Chase: What's that arm squeeze about?
Robert: You want one? Here.
Chase: Fuck off.
Chase: This is you. Pretty sparse but feel free to decorate.
Robert: This computer's older than you look. Wait. So, we're doing this? I haven't even met the team yet?
Chase: We did the slide show.
Robert: First of all, that wasn't a slide show...
Chase: Look, we like to start slow. Most people don't make it past the first dispatch. And this is better for everybody's safety.
Robert: What do you mean safety?
Chase: You'll be fine-- And this here is our little slice of the Southland. Whenever there's a crisis in the area, we get a call and guess who answers?
Robert: Me.
Chase: Exactly. Now put your headset on and introduce yourself to these pricks.
Invisigal: Can I get eyes down here, please?
Robert: What does that mean?
Chase: She's asking for a tap in. We've got access to security cams of SDN subscribers all over our territory.
Robert: Wow. Really? Is that legal?
Chase: Don't ask questions. Just always make sure to read the fine print.
---
SCENE 6.1: GRANNY'S DONUTS - FIRST DISPATCH
Setting: The first dispatch call of the shift. Invisigal responds to an alarm at Granny's Donuts.
Invisigal: I didn't do this.
Robert: Right. I feel like you've said that a lot in your life. What happened?
Invisigal: This is how I found the place. The old guy, who I assume is Granny, was laying here when I walked in. Hey what's your favorite donut?
Robert: Can you just focus? What, you got ADHD or something?
Invisigal: Yes, fucker. Is it that obvious?
Robert: Yes, fucker. It is.
Invisigal: Well, then answer the question.
Invisigal: I don't wanna sit here and fixate on it when we're supposed to be doing... whatever. Superhero shit.
Robert's donut preference choices (cosmetic, trophy tied to least-popular pick):
> Option 1 - "Jelly filled."
> Robert: A jelly donut, okay? I mean I will eat anything if you pack enough jelly in it.
> Invisigal: So, you're into squirters. You like that gush in your throat. Cool, okay. Say less.
> Option 2 - "Plain glazed."
> Robert: Just a plain ass glazed donut. You happy?
> Invisigal: Not as happy as you with that glaze all over you, huh? Do you slap that donut around on your face a little before you put it in your mouth?
> Option 3 - "The long cream ones."
> Robert: Those uh, long ones with the cream inside.
> Invisigal: Oh you like a dick donut.
> Robert: Um, no, they're called --
> Invisigal: You love big long cream filled dick donuts. I got it, dude. You like your dick donuts up in your throat in your ass or both?
Robert: Yup. You got me. I love gobbling on hot sloppy donuts. Love 'em from my mouth to my butt--
Robert: --Howzit goin'? First day. Thanks for asking me that so you could get all your funny funny jokes out. Now can we maybe address--
Robert: --the body in the room. What're you doing? You gonna poke it with a stick? Check his pulse.
Invisigal: Granny is alive. Thank Christ. I didn't want to have to lip this guy. So, can I go now?
Robert: No. This isn't a wellness check. It's a B&E. Let's figure out if the perp is still there.
Invisigal: Perp? B&E? Okay, Lieutenant... Fuck I can't think of a character from a cop show.
Robert: Cool, well why don't you stay put and work on that while I get another camera up online.
Chase: She's my least favorite... the worst of the lot.
Robert: That surprises me. You guys got similar energy. How do I switch cameras?
Chase: Just click the side there and you can cycle all the cameras in the building.
Robert: It's weird getting tech advice from an old person.
Chase: Bro, I'm not even forty yet.
Robert: Weird hearing bro from an old person.
Invisigal: Dan? Lieutenant Dan? Is that -- is that a thing?
Robert: Yes. I am the legless Vietnam vet from Forrest Gump. Sick burn.
Robert: Am I doing something wrong? Pushing that button just says 'Access Denied'.
Chase: Ah dammit. Sometimes people add extra security. They don't understand it just makes it harder for us to do our jobs.
Invisigal: Hey what's taking so long? Are you sleeping or something or are you just bad at your job?
Robert: Alright, what do we got here...
Invisigal: Perp? B&E? Who're you, Lieutenant Dan?
Robert: Hey, shut up for a sec. You're not alone.
Robert: He's coming your way. Armed. You need to disappear.
Invisigal: Why're you whispering, you idiot? You're in my ear.
Robert: Go! Now!
Invisigal: Goddamnit.
Invisigal: This bitch is a gusher.
Robert: Invisigal, he's still armed. Be careful.
Invisigal: I got this Lieutenant Dan.
Invisigal: Nevermind!
Invisigal: Got any more great advice?
Robert's quick command choices:
> Option 1 - "Duck!"
> Robert: Duck!
> Option 2 - "Go invisible!"
> Robert: Disappear!
Lightningstruck: Shit!
Lightningstruck: Gotcha now, Invisibitch.
Robert: Invisigal, just hold him off while I find a way to help.
Robert: I can use the overhead sprinklers to short out his blaster.
Lightningstruck: Fuck!
Robert: Dammit, I'm locked out.
Invisigal: Granny. I don't think you know how to use that thing so why don't you--
Granny: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Invisigal: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm one of the good guys...
Granny: You? Yeah right. Don't fuck with me, okay? Nobody fucks Granny!
Granny: NOBODY FUCKS WITH GRANNY!
Robert: Invisigal, stay calm...
Invisigal: Great fuckin' advice, Lieutenant Dan.
Robert: Stop calling me Lieutenant Dan 'cause the joke doesn't work and you sound dumb.
Robert's command options (Invisigal does the opposite of what you command):
> Option 1 - "Disarm Granny." (Invisigal attacks the thief)
> Robert: Okay, disarm Granny before that thing blows his face off. It looks super unstable.
> Invisigal: Oh so your expert opinion is to attack the client? Fuck that. I did things your way and it turned to shit. I'm taking out the guy who's been trying to kill me.
> Robert: That wasn't a suggestion. It's a direct--
> Robert: Hey! Invisigal, are you okay? Hey! Are you okay? Come in!
> Invisigal: I'm fine... but this guy... less fine.
> Invisigal: Smells like bacon a little. It's gross but it's also kinda not bad.
> Robert: Yeah, great okay. Where's the perp?
> Option 2 - "Take out the Thief." (Invisigal attacks Granny)
> Robert: Granny doesn't even know how to shoot that thing. Take out the thief first. He's the only one with his finger on a trigger.
> Invisigal: You know what, it's my life on the line, I'm done listening to you. That thing is gonna blow that man's arm off and this whole building with me in it. Fuck off. I'm disarming the device.
> Robert: No, Invisigal that's a direct order--
> Robert: Oh, fuck. Fuck! Invisigal? You there? Come in! Invisigal!
> Invisigal: Fuck this guy's heavy. Granny's clearly a fan of his own work.
> Invisigal: Really wasn't expecting to see that. He's kinda caked up.
> Invisigal: So, where's the perp, Lieutenant?
> Robert: I think he must've had something else to do, 'cause he left.
> Invisigal: I mean, this is why you have insurance, right?
Robert: Ah Jesus Christ you gotta be fucking kidding me.
Invisigal: This feels like a win to me.
Chase: That was... pretty good. For a first day. Sometimes people... you know, get electrical burns.
Robert: She disobeyed a direct order.
Chase: Well, that's the problem. This isn't the army, and these ain't soldiers. They are fuckin' super villains. Look, why don't you take a breather? We can debrief with Blazer in a bit. Here...
Chase: There's vending machines in the break room. You look like you could use a snack.
Robert: Are you sure you're not actually eighty years old?
---
SCENE 7: BREAK ROOM - CONFRONTATION WITH INVISIGAL
Setting: After the Granny's Donuts incident, Invisigal confronts Robert in the break room.
Sonar: AAAAAAAAGH!
Invisigal: Hey.
Robert: Ah--shit.
Invisigal: What kind of superhero flinches?
Invisigal: I didn't say which superhero. Chill out.
Robert: If you had people trying to kill you for the last fifteen years you'd be jumpy too.
Invisigal: What makes you think my life has been any different?
Invisigal: You think growing up surrounded by a buncha shitbag villains I didn't need to watch my back?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "I can't just disappear." (No change)
> Robert: I can't just disappear, okay? I actually have to face my problems.
> Option 2 - "You chose that life." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: Yeah, well, you had a choice. No one made you pick a life of crime.
> Option 3 - "You need better friends." (No change)
> Robert: Yeah, well, I guess you should do a better job picking your friends.
Invisigal: What the fuck?
Robert: You can't just go around--
Sonar: AAAAAAAAGH!
Robert: Why's he keep screaming?
Invisigal: His name's Sonar.
Robert: Yeah, I know what Sonar means.
Sonar: What's up?
Invisigal: Then why are you asking why he keeps screaming?
Robert: Uh she was just explaining your um-- you know what? Nevermind. Good shift.
Sonar: This guy's weird.
Invisigal: Yeah he is. Look, I actually just came by to celebrate the mission going well.
Invisigal: Didn't mean to interrupt your little snack. Whaddayou need it pre-chewed like a little baby bird bitch?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "You ignored my order." (No change)
> Robert: Look at me, you disobeyed a direct order. How can you think it went well?
> Option 2 - "You think that went well?" (No change)
> Robert: You seriously think that went well?
> Invisigal: No. I think it went great.
> Option 3 - "I told Chase you disobeyed." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: I told Chase what happened. That you disobeyed a direct order.
> Invisigal: You tattled on me?
> Robert: Tattled? Are you five? I told him the truth.
> Invisigal: You fucking snitched. That's what that is.
Robert: You trashed the place. The suspect got away and you got the client hurt. I don't think when he called us he thought he'd be ending the day wanking it leftie cause you turned his other arm into a pork rind.
Invisigal: Granny would be fine if Granny didn't pick that fuckin thing up in the first place. He's just some dumbass trying to be a hero-- and don't fuckin say it. I know where you're going.
Robert: You trashed the place. The suspect got away, you got the client hurt. You think when that guy signed up for SDN, that it'd result in the back of his ballsack getting scorched? Cause they don't mention that in the commercials.
Invisigal: First of all, the place was trashed when I got there. Second, I'm sure Granny would take some crispy nuts over losing his arm. As far as the bad guy... fuck shit happens.
Robert: Fact of the matter is that shit didn't need to happen. We could have had an outcome where the client doesn't get fried and we get the perp, if you had just fucking listened to me. You ask for help, then I-- what now?
Robert: I make the calls. Not you.
Invisigal: Here's some advice. You're right at home behind that desk. Cause you're no hero. You were a nerd playing a video game in a suit your daddy built.
Invisigal: Now, you're a twitchy little bitch turtle without it's shell. A real hero puts their ass on the line. A real hero can't just press a button to make their problems disappear.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "The suit isn't Mecha Man." (No change)
> Robert: The suit isn't what made me a superhero. It was how I did my fuckin job that made me Mecha Man.
> Option 2 - "I'm the real hero here." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: Let me make this clear. You're not half the hero that I am. Not now, not ever.
> Option 3 - "You need me." (No change)
> Robert: The fact of the matter is, you need me, way more than I need you.
Robert: Based on what I saw today, you wouldn't last a day as Mecha Man, cause there isn't a mech suit in the universe that'll keep you from being a selfish fuckin' asshole.
Invisigal: Aaaaaaaarrgh!
Invisigal: Feel bad? Good. Fuck you!
Robert: [sigh]
Sonar: You gonna eat those twinks?
Robert: That's not what they're-- ya know what, help yourself.
---
SCENE 8: DEBRIEF WITH BLONDE BLAZER AND CHASE
Setting: Blonde Blazer and Chase debrief Robert after his first shift.
Blonde Blazer: What happened to your nose?
Robert: Hmm?
Chase: Here we go...
Blonde Blazer: You have a tissue hanging from your nose, Robert. I was trying to ignore it but that became impossible when it started soaking in blood.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "The air's dry." (No change)
> Robert: Uh, I get nosebleeds when it's this dry. The air. In the office. It's uh... on the dry side.
> Blonde Blazer: Is it on the dry side? I'll have facilities look into it.
> Option 2 - "I bumped my head." (No change)
> Robert: I don't know, I just sorta bumped my head... I guess.
> Blonde Blazer: Right... when I think of someone bumping their head, it's the back of their head. Your nose, your bloody nose, is the same place as your eyes... which is on your face.
> Robert: Right, yeah. I guess I bumped my face then.
> Option 3 - "Invisigal punched me." (Blonde Blazer less trusting)
> Robert: Invisigal punched me in the face. But I asked for it.
> Blonde Blazer: Robert. This is serious.
> Robert: It's not. I asked for it.
> Blonde Blazer: Okay, there's nothing you could have said that warrants her hitting you.
> Robert: Would it be different if I said I literally asked for her to hit me in the face, and then she did it?
> Blonde Blazer: I... suppose.
> Robert: Okay, then, let's go with that.
Blonde Blazer: Alright, boys. We're here to assess Robert's first shift and aside from whatever... happened here... I thought it was pretty good.
Robert: What?
Chase: Told ya, Robbie.
Blonde Blazer: I was watching on the monitor. The work you did dispatching, I don't think the Z-Team has ever had a better shift than that.
Chase: We just might need to confront the fact that it might be the best they can do. Especially the way the Granny thing went.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah now, the Granny's situation, that wasn't ideal, but I've seen so much worse with Invisigal.
Chase: Let's be real. She ain't gonna make it.
Blonde Blazer: She's difficult to work with, sure, but I see a lot of promise in her. Really. Even the other Z-Teamers respect her.
Chase: They're afraid of her.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "She disobeyed an order."
> Robert: She disobeyed a direct order.
> Chase: That's kind of her thing. It's why we're so hopeful you can help her.
> Robert: And I'm happy to do it, but you know...
> Option 2 - "The perp got away."
> Robert: The perp got away, how is that an acceptable outcome?
> Chase: Shit happens.
> Option 3 - "I could've done better."
> Robert: I should have done better. Maybe a couple wires got crossed towards the end there. I could've been more clear with her.
> Chase: You crossed zero wires, okay. She crossed them for you.
Blonde Blazer: Look Robert... you should be proud. The bar is very low with this group.
Robert: Well, it's not low for me. Look, I like to make a joke and keep things light as much as the next person, but when it comes to work... I'm not fucking around here. If you want the Phoenix Program to survive, the bar needs to go up.
Blonde Blazer: And how would we do that?
Robert: By treating the Z-Team like what they are... a bunch of villains. And leading a supervillain team takes a different approach than a superhero team. I need to be around them. I need them to see I'm all in and they need to match that energy.
Chase: Some tough love.
Robert: The only kind I know, and based on what I've seen, the only version they'll respond to. I'm not saying everyone'll make it, they won't. And I'm not saying it won't get spicy, it will. But when it does, I also need you to trust me to handle it. I don't want you stepping in. They need to respect me. Even if I don't have powers.
Blonde Blazer: Okay. We'll do it your way. Monday, we'll get them in a room and introduce them to their new supervillain leader.
Robert: I can't promise it'll work, I can only promise that I'll do my best.
Chase: Ha. No fuckin' way it's gonna work. But it'll be way more fun to watch.
Blonde Blazer: Chase. Some optimism please?
Chase: Goddamnit, yeah I also promise to do my best.
---
SCENE 9: END OF SHIFT - WATERBOY
Setting: After the debrief, Robert discovers Waterboy cleaning up a donut that was smashed on his desk.
Robert: Hey, kid...
Robert: What're you doing?
Waterboy: Wha-- yeah, no-- No. No! I didn't did this. It's, uh, weird cause yeah, I saw this lady smiling lad-- lady-- person put a donut on your, uhm, desk earlier-- previously and it's was nice-- nicely on a napkin, but then sh-- just-- she comes back and she just went craz-- like evil... mode and hit-- smashed the same donut--
Robert: What a mess.
Waterboy: I'll-- will clean it.
Robert: What, no, no, no, no.
Waterboy: No-- yes, see. I'm SDN's newer-- newest he-- he-- here-- heeee--
Robert: Hero?
Waterboy: ...helpful janitor. Helpful janitor.
Robert: Okay. Cool.
Waterboy: So, it's my pleases-- pleasure-- and it's-- my job. Which you helped me get. So, thank you. Thank you so much.
Robert: Happy to help.
Blonde Blazer: That's-- it's Friday, I'm not gonna ask. You headed out?
Robert: Oh, yeah, uhm... great. Thanks kid.
Blonde Blazer: Welcome to the team, Waterboy.
Waterboy: Yeah-- welcome to you-- you too.
---
SCENE 10: AFTER HOURS - PHENOMAMAN REVEAL
Setting: As Robert prepares to leave for the day, Blonde Blazer approaches him, followed by Phenomaman in the parking lott, who is revealed to be her boyfriend.
Blonde Blazer: Hey, I want you to know, us fixing your suit is not contingent on you fixing the Z-Team. I wouldn't do that to you.
Robert: That's good to know.
Blonde Blazer: But don't worry about that. I'm just really glad you're here, Robert. I think we're going to do some great things together.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Thanks for setting this up." (Neutral)
> Robert: Hey look, I really appreciate you setting this up. It's exactly what I need right now and it'll get me that much more excited to be back out there.
> Option 2 - "Do you want to grab dinner?" (Romantic undertone)
> Robert: Hey, so do you wanna grab dinner? Or something? It's dinner time so I assumed that maybe, you know...
> Option 3 - "I'm glad I'm here too." (Neutral)
> Robert: I'm uh, I'm really glad I'm here too.
Blonde Blazer: Actually... there's something I've been meaning to tell you... It's a little awkward to mention, but since the other night, I--
[The camera suddenly pans up in the parking lot showing phenomenon as he lands with dark music depending on if you kissed a Blonde Blazer]
Phenomaman: Blonde Blazer.
Phenomaman: Are you ready to go?
Phenomaman: Who is this? I thought I'd catalogued all of your work companions.
Blonde Blazer: Robert, this is my... boyfriend, Phenomaman...
Blonde Blazer: This is our new dispatcher I was telling you about, Robert.
Phenomaman: The third Robert Robertson? Leader of the Phoenixes? Blonde Blazer told me about you.
Robert: Really? Did she, uh, say... what came up in that talk?
Phenomaman: She said you're a capable, honorable man that truly cares for others. Why are you so small?
Blonde Blazer: Hey, come on. You gotta stop asking people that.
Phenomaman: The way you spoke of him made him sound impressive. I only seek to understand. I apologize. How was his first day? Was his lack of size and strength an issue?
Blonde Blazer: No he was great. It was great. It was a great first day.
Phenomaman: That is phenomenal. We should celebrate. Blonde Blazer and I have reservations in Tokyo at a restaurant where the owner dreams of sushi. You should join us.
Phenomaman: I'm sure they could accommodate one more. Especially, a special occasion like this.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Sorry, I already ate." (Improves relationships)
> Robert: Oh, that sounds great, but I spoiled my appetite eating sweets all day.
> Phenomaman: A shame. Another time then.
> Robert: For sure.
> Option 2 - "Gotta get home to my dog." (Improves relationships)
> Robert: Actually, I gotta get home to my dog. He's very needy.
> Phenomaman: Of course. To be responsible for another life is a beautiful thing, even if that life is a dog life.
> Robert: Yeah. Right.
> Option 3 - "Yeah, sounds fun." (Damages relationship with Blonde Blazer, intrusive)
> Robert: Oh yeah, wow that sounds just amazing. I would love to join.
> Phenomaman: Phenomenal!
> Blonde Blazer: Actually... I don't know if we can add one more to the reservation.
> Blonde Blazer: And more importantly, in order for us to get there in time, we'd have to hit supersonic speed and Robert here...
> Phenomaman: Oh, would he die?
> Blonde Blazer: Yeah, I think he would die.
> Phenomaman: Oh no. Perhaps another time?
> Robert: Yeah for sure.
Blonde Blazer: He flies a little faster.
Phenomaman: It was very nice to meet you, third Robert Robertson.
Robert: Pleasure was--
Phenomaman: Now could you step back? The power of my launch has been to known to stun small beings. Phenomenal.
---
PHOENIX PROGRAM - TEAM DOSSIERS
Setting: Blonde Blazer and Chase provide background information on each member of the Z-Team.
Blonde Blazer: Invisigal. Who you met. Turned herself in a few months ago and entered the program on the condition we didn't ask questions.
Robert: That's a little suspicious, no?
Chase: Suspicious? Really? Of a criminal that turns invisible and doesn't like to answer questions? What tipped you off, Sherlock?
Robert: Okay, grandpa.
Chase: That's not funny. Of course it's suspicious. But Blazer here has a soft spot for her. I'da cut her ages ago.
Blonde Blazer: I'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Her biggest problem now is she's the absolute bottom of the leaderboards.
Blonde Blazer: Sonar here was a Harvard graduate who--
Chase: Who will not shut the fuck up about being a Harvard graduate, like all Harvard graduates.
Blonde Blazer: Who also orchestrated some of the most effective Silicon Valley investment frauds in US history. Also...
Chase: Also, sometimes he transforms into a fuckin' bat monster that would eat you ass-first after he emptied your pension plan.
Blonde Blazer: For the record, he hasn't eaten anybody's butt since he's been here. We got him on a meal plan.
Blonde Blazer: Flambae. He --
Robert: -- "controls the fire and the flame and his skin does not burn."
Chase: Right, you've met him. Didn't you have a run in with him years back?
Robert: I did, yeah.
Chase: So, you know he's a certifiable dickhead.
Blonde Blazer: But, he's also one of the team's most capable heroes.
Chase: Capable like a fuckin' bomb is capable of leveling a city block.
Chase: Punch Up.
Blonde Blazer: Carnival strong man who made a deal with a sorceress. She gave him the strength of ten men. His muscles grew--
Blonde Blazer: --but his body shrunk.
Chase: He's got all the charm and brains of a greasy bowling ball.
Chase: Prism. Michigan born and raised. Her power is weird. She weaponizes light rays or some shit. A lot of this stuff is a guess.
Robert: Why does she dress like a pop star?
Blonde Blazer: She's actually super talented.
Blonde Blazer: That's Golem. He is a construct.
Robert: A construct?
Blonde Blazer: Yeah, a bunch of dirt and mud made sentient with magic.
Blonde Blazer: I think he's lonely.
Blonde Blazer: Malevola, terrifying. She's got a magic sword and she creates portals that allow her to teleport.
Chase: And somehow she's still late for every fucking meeting.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does that on purpose.
Blonde Blazer: Here we have Coupé, which I recently learned is a French ballet term that means, to cut. Hence the knives.
Robert: That's very clever.
Chase: Yeah, but it sounds dumb to say so everybody calls her Coop. She was an assassin for the mob then went independent.
---
Z-TEAM INTRODUCTION
Setting: Robert introduces himself to the Z-Team over the comms.
Robert: Hey team. This is your dispatcher, Robert Robertson. I'm starting my first shift--
Prism: Tell me that's not your real fuckin' name?
Flambae: You stuttering bitch? You can't be this shook on your first day, come on.
Sonar: Robert. Roberts. Robertson. Roberts. Roberto. Bobert.
Robert: Can we clear the channel please. There's a lot of overlapping--
Invisigal: I saw him in his underwear.
Prism: Who? Roberto Robertson?
Invisigal: I saw him in his underwear.
Prism: He packing much?
Invisigal: No, but he's got lots of bruises. Which I'm into.
Robert: Again, please clear the channel--
Coupé: We get it, you're emo--
Chase: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Chase: Let me remind you! These calls are fucking recorded for training fucking purposes! So keep the fucking line clear before we send your stupid fucking asses back to whatever fucking cell we pulled your stupid fucking asses out of! Aight?
---
ADDITIONAL GAMEPLAY DIALOGUE
Robert: Why does a donut shop even need extra security?
Invisigal: Helloooo?
Robert: [irritated sigh]
Robert: Keep up the good work Robert!
Blonde Blazer: Answering calls successfully, keeping the team out of danger, all of that looks good on your performance review.
Blonde Blazer: Let's talk more in my office later.
Robert: Okay, what's uh going on with Sonar?
Malevola: Oh, that? Yeah. He kinda randomly turns into a monster sometimes.
Robert: Randomly?
Malevola: We're... working on controlling it.
Sonar: [SCREEEEEEECH]
Malevola: Yeah, it's um... it's slow going.
Robert: Come on, come on, come on...
Robert: Okay, now back to this one...
Invisigal: [struggling grunts]
Invisigal: Fuck...you...Lightning...dick.
Robert: Got 'em.
---
MECHA MAN DISCUSSION
Punch Up: You know who we saw at that bar last night? Mecha Man.
Coupé: And he kicked Flambae's ass.
Flambae: Okay-okay, that little shit did not kick my ass.
Coupé: He did though.
Robert: Yeah, I think I heard about that.
Flambae: No, you didn't, because it didn't happen, Bob Bob. So we're all going to shut up about it. Yeah? Okay.
Invisigal: So, what was your read on this Mecha Man guy?
Punch Up: Washed up. Drinking alone. A robot guy without his robot, I guess.
Malevola: So... just a guy.
Sonar: Hear that, Flambae? You got your ass kicked by 'just a guy'.
Flambae: All of you -- shut the fuck up.
Robert: Did you start that fire?
Flambae: No.
Robert: The fire that's burning two blocks from where you're standing. You didn't start that?
Flambae: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm on break, so how could I know?
Robert: Flambae, stop fucking around. I've got enough problems without you making new ones.
Flambae: Whatever man.
---
THE LAST GUY BET
Punch Up: Uh, I'll take Wednesday.
Coupé: Tuesday.
Malevola: Dibs on Monday.
Robert: What are you guys talking about?
Invisigal: We're taking bets on when you'll quit.
Golem: Hmm... Friday?
Robert: Today's Friday.
Golem: I know.
Robert: How long was the last dispatcher here?
Flambae: Two days. New record.
Robert: How the fuck did that happen?
Flambae: I set his car on fire. Yeah. Very flammable. Kia Soul.
---
VANDERSTENK DISCUSSION
Prism: Who is this Vanderstink guy?
Sonar: Willem Vanderstenk. Certified genius. Literally. He has a certificate.
Prism: You aren't a genius if you need a piece of paper that says you're a genius.
Sonar: You're just jealous. This guy rules.
---
---
SCENE 1: SDN WAITING LOUNGE
Setting: Robert is waiting in the SDN lounge. A commercial featuring Phenomaman plays on a television.
Guitar Mom: Oh dang it. I'm gonna be late for band practice.
Phenomaman: Unexpected things happen every day.
Guitar Mom: Phenomaman! Can SDN help me out with this? It's blocking the driveway.
Phenomaman: You can count on SDN to help lift the burdens life throws at us.
Phenomaman: Let SDN be your rock... so you... can rock.
Commercial Voice on tv: SDN IS NOT AN INSURANCE COMPANY AND DOES NOT COVER DAMAGES TO PROPERTY, PERSONS, OR ANIMALS.
Robert: She's definitely not making it to band practice.
Waterboy: Heh yeah, wha -- wait what's that?
Robert: Hmm? No. Just uh, the... the commercial. It was weird.
Waterboy: Weird, yeah, right? Phenoma-ma-ma-man... he is-- he's like a rock star.
Waterboy: It's a-- I'm joking, cause of the rock... roll... cool-- cool commercial. I'm a Phenomenafan you-- you might-- you could say-- that.
---
SCENE 1A: WATERBOY CONVERSATION (CHOICE)
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Not a great actor."
> Robert: He's not the best actor though. Which was important for that commercial to be less... um, weird.
> Waterboy: He is the best actor-- well, acting when there's dange-- I think if, the whole worlds is a play then...he's still awesome.
> Robert: Can't argue that.
> Option 2 - "He's phenomenal."
> Robert: He seems cool... phenomenal even... and quite the salesman.
> Waterboy: Oh yeah. He can sell snowballs to a-- Eski-- is it not-- not cool to say--
> Waterboy: Snowman. He could sell snowballs to a snow... person... anyone made of snow. Any color snow, doesn't have to be white.
> Option 3 - "Seems like a jerk."
> Robert: I hate to break it to ya, I heard he's a jerk in real life. Most big heroes are.
> Waterboy: What-- jerk? No, no, no, no. I don't think so.
Waterboy: Oh god, okay, yep, that's not right, that is not right, that is--
Robert: Just--okay let me help you with that.
Waterboy: Oh-- no... note... not necessary if-- I'm sure I...
Robert: It's soaked. You nervous? Big job interview?
Waterboy: No. I mean-- yes, but no yes is more-- my powers make everything we-- moist. Waterboy is how they-- call me... But yes, I am-- Yes, I am interviewing and I'm nervous-- on edge of... yeah, yes but honestly I'm nervous most of the time so...oh okay.
Waterboy: Now that you- your face is next-aside-a my face... I see that I know you-- of you. You're Mecha Man-- I... you're dead... I thought.
Robert: Just on the inside.
Waterboy: You uh... look small-- different in person.
Robert: Never meet your heroes, kid.
Blonde Blazer: Oh, wasn't sure you'd show up.
Waterboy: Oh-- wuh-- wow. Blazer-- Blonde. A real hero!
Blonde Blazer: Oh, sorry, but I need him for something. Follow me.
---
SCENE 2: CONFERENCE ROOM - UNIFORM
Setting: Blonde Blazer leads Robert to a conference room for him to change into his SDN dispatcher uniform.
Blonde Blazer: Take your clothes off.
Robert: Uh, what's happening right now?
Blonde Blazer: We don't want too many people knowing you're Mecha Man. A lot of our dispatchers are former heroes, but it's better if you keep your identity a secret. We've had incidents in the past. Here.
Blonde Blazer: I remembered you being bigger... I was a little drunk-- listen, it's gonna be great.
Robert: I've never felt silly wearing this...
Blonde Blazer: Until now?
Robert: Yeah. I was trying to imply that with the silence.
Blonde Blazer: It worked. Get dressed. I have somebody I need you to meet.
Blonde Blazer: Oh, sorry. Should I turn around? Or? What do you...
Blonde Blazer: Uhh should I close my eyes maybe? If that makes you more comfortable.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "I don't mind."
> Robert: It's fine. I don't mind.
> Blonde Blazer: Oh, yeah, no... it's, it's-- sure.
> Robert: I mean, don't stare me straight in the eyes or anything, cause that'd be odd--
> Option 2 - "No peeking."
> Robert: No peeking.
> Option 3 - "Is this an HR violation?"
> Robert: Well, this might be the fastest HR violation of a new employee in history.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah-- I'll actually, yeah I'm just gonna -- there.
Robert: It doesn't look like it, but I am flexing every muscle in my body right now.
Blonde Blazer: Really?
Robert: Okay, well you didn't have to say it like that.
Blonde Blazer: I, I want to say, again, I'm sorry about last night. I regret the way I conducted myself. It was... a mistake...
Blonde Blazer: A complicated mistake... I can go into the details of those complications with you later.
Robert's dialogue options regarding last night:
> Option 1 - "Didn't feel like a mistake." (No change)
> Robert: Didn't feel like a mistake... at least not to me.
> Blonde Blazer: Well, that makes one of us.
> Option 2 - "I'll take your lead." (Relationship increases)
> Robert: Look, I'll take your lead. So, if it's complicated, or whatever, just you know, let me know when it isn't...
> Option 3 - "We were drunk." (Relationship decreases)
> Robert: Look, we were both a little tipsy-- got lost in the moment. You know it's totally understandable.
Robert: It was a nice night. Nothing more than that.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah I'd like to keep things, professional.
Robert: Right, that's why you brought me to this conference room to strip down in front of you. Profesh--
Blonde Blazer: Are you serious?
Invisigal: Who locks a conference room?
Invisigal: So, uh, you two fuck or what?
---
SCENE 2A: INVISIGAL INTRODUCTION
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "We kissed, but it was very innocent."
> Robert: We kissed, but it was very innocent.
> Invisigal: Like, cheek innocent or tip of your dick innocent?
> Blonde Blazer: Okay stop. First of all, WE did not kiss, you kissed me. Second of all, it's none of your freaking business.
> Invisigal: Whoa. She cussed. Musta been a good one.
> Blonde Blazer: Robert, this is Invisigal.
> Option 2 - "No professional lines were crossed."
> Robert: No professional lines were crossed.
> Invisigal: Oh, right, right. So, just like, grinding? Clothes on stuff?
> Blonde Blazer: Visi, knock it off. I just got a little tipsy at our meeting.
> Robert: A meeting? Is that what it was?
Blonde Blazer: She is part of the Phoenix Program. We take former super villains, such as herself, and rehabilitate them to reenter society to use their powers for -- are those my earrings?
Invisigal: They look better on me.
Blonde Blazer: Invisigal, this is Robert. He'll be your team's Dispatcher.
Invisigal: A washed up dad bod superhero with no superpowers... Can't wait.
Blonde Blazer: His identity, all of this, that's staying between us. He's still Mecha Man, but that can't get out... and if it does, I'll know who it came from.
Invisigal: You think I want to tell people our dispatcher's a fuckin' loser?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Powers don't make you a hero."
> Robert: Having superpowers doesn't automatically make you a superhero. You're born with one... you have to earn the other.
> Option 2 - "Let's make the best of it."
> Robert: Look, you might think these are less than ideal circumstances, but it's something you need to get used to. When you're out in the field, even the best laid plans can fail. So out there or in here, we do what we can... we make the best of it.
> Option 3 - "I'm here to help."
> Robert: Look, I'm here to help. It's what I do. You have a chance to turn things around, bring some good into the world and I'll support you in whatever way possible, so that maybe, just maybe, by the end of all this, helping people is what you do too.
Invisigal: Well, I'm wet. I see why you like him. Look at that drip. What is that look? Best Buy Fight Club? Fuckin' hot.
Blonde Blazer: We have a weekly ranking list for all the heroes in the company...
Robert: And she's at the bottom.
Blonde Blazer: She called herself Invisibitch when she was a villain. We're trying to rebrand her.
Robert: Yeah, I thought Invisigal felt kinda corny for her.
Blonde Blazer: Oh yeah? The name was my idea... just get your shirt on dad bod.
---
SCENE 3: OFFICE TOUR
Setting: Blonde Blazer shows Robert around the SDN Torrance branch office.
Office Worker: This is SDN. How can we help you?
Blonde Blazer: We're not the highest profile branch in the network, but we've got what makes the real difference... great people. Some of them aren't even people, and they're still great.
Blonde Blazer: One of three copiers on this floor. Fax. Scan. Does literally everything. Documentation, one of the three 'D's' at SDN.
Blonde Blazer: There tends to be a healthy amount of paperwork. I used to call it triple D's but I was informed that had a different connotation...
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "How many heroes work here?"
> Robert: How many heroes do you have here?
> Blonde Blazer: Network wide, we're over three hundred. Here at the Torrance branch we've got somewhere between forty-five and fifty depending on our roster at any given time, working different shifts.
> Option 2 - "Three D's?"
> Robert: Three D's?
> Blonde Blazer: Dispatching... Documentation... Diversity is the third. Not in terms of priority of course.
> Option 3 - "What heroes do you hire?"
> Robert: What kind of heroes end up here?
> Blonde Blazer: Oh, all sorts. Some that are tired of doing it themselves. Some heroes who prefer teams.
> Robert: And some that used to be called Invisibitch. Quite the eclectic roster.
Blonde Blazer: Yup, we're all about diversity.
Blonde Blazer: Lana works in the mailroom, from a different galaxy altogether.
Blonde Blazer: And then there's Galen... way back there. Born with super hearing. He's from... I wanna say...
Galen: Florida.
Blonde Blazer: Florida. Of course. Florida man over there. Hey, easy on the bath salts.
Galen: That was one guy.
Robert: Hey, speaking of bath, where is the uh...
Blonde Blazer: Need a bio break?
Robert: Excuse me?
Blonde Blazer: Restroom. I mean. It's right over there. Sorry. At work I tend to get a little...
Robert: Corny?
Blonde Blazer: Corporate. Dick. Meet me in the Records Room when you're done. If you get lost look for the door that says Records Room.
---
SCENE 4: RESTROOM - MEETING ROYD
Setting: Robert goes to the restroom where he encounters Royd, the tech specialist who will be repairing the Mecha Man suit.
Royd: Ohhh. Brah, almos' went in my pants.
Royd: Aye, you dis Robert people talkin about? Wassup bruddah, my auntie name me Roy, but people call me Royd.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Bro Fist" (Relationship improves)
> Royd: Aurite. Good to meet you, brah.
> Robert: Likewise.
> Option 2 - "Do Not Bro Fist" (Relationship worsens)
> Royd: Oh oh oh, my bad. My bad. You think I touch my ding-a-ling cuz we stay in da lua.
> Robert: Kinda part of the process.
> Royd: No need worry, bruddah. It's okay.
Robert: So, Royd... like, like steroid?
Royd: Huh? Hell no bruddah. No. No. No, no cuz. Listen, listen-- They're tree uddah guys here go by the name Roy. So I tink it's like you know we go scrap, we go ground, I buss you up and then you know, you got Roy'd. You know what I'm saying bruh. That's... what I...that's what I think...
Royd: Aye, you think that's why they call me Royd? Like I'm on steroids?
Royd: Cause they think I some kinna juice head? They think I not natty bro? They think Royd not natty?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "No, I'm just kidding."
> Robert: No, I'm just kidding, man. Just makin jokes... about your name... in the shitter.
> Option 2 - "Doubt it's a coincidence."
> Robert: Look, it's not my business, but... I don't think it's a coincidence. Sorry.
> Option 3 - "I don't know."
> Robert: Man, I have no idea. I just-- you know look, I'm just trying to wash my hands.
> Royd: You brought it up, bruddah.
> Robert: Yeah and I'm so sorry I did that.
Royd: Whateva. Ainokea.
Robert: That's-- yeah. Nokia...ing is probably best.
Robert: Nice meeting you, Royd. Even if it was while we were both holding our dicks.
Royd: You one funny bugga... Mecha Man.
Robert: Okay, so I was worried about your unwashed hand but now I'm worried that everyone here knows who I am.
Royd: Nah, bruddah. It's kapu. Need to know basis and Royd need to know. I da one who come pick up yo suit for fix on for da SDN.
Robert: Cool. You gonna wash before you do that?
Royd: Nah bro, I neva touch nothin'. Just my touch pants, underwear only. Even fo shake. I just do like dis.
Robert: Can you show me again, I don't think I got it.
---
SCENE 5: RECORDS ROOM - MEETING CHASE (TRACK STAR)
Setting: Robert enters the Records Room and meets an elderly man who is actually Chase, formerly known as the superhero Track Star.
Very Old Man (Chase): Holy shit. Who's this freckle faced fuck? How are ya?
Robert: That's an aggressive way to greet someone--
Very Old Man (Chase): Look at this skinny latte prick. You're bones, Kid.
Very Old Man (Chase): You here to whip these assholes into shape or what?
Blonde Blazer: That's the idea.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Do I know you?"
> Robert: Uhm, I'm sorry, do I know you?
> Very Old Man (Chase): Why're you all tense?
> Option 2 - "Can you not do this?"
> Robert: Admittedly, I haven't had a hug in a while, but could you maybe not?
> Option 3 - "Why is this happening?"
> Robert: Why is this happening?
Very Old Man (Chase): What? It's a hug. Not a handjob. Lighten up.
Robert: Be that as it may, I'm still confused...
Very Old Man (Chase): Oh. Right. Cause I'm old as shit. How about this. This jog your memory?
Robert: Track Star? Holy shit!
Chase: Yeah, ya fucker. Why're you accepting hugs from old men ya don't know? Oh, and hey, they call me Chase around here so keep it...you know.
Robert: Sure, right, yeah, Chase.
Chase: It's been, what? Ten, fifteen years?
Blonde Blazer: Has it really been that long?
Chase: Yeah, I reached out to this little pissant when his dad passed. Then he got to duckin' me like he owed me money.
Robert: I was in a weird place.
Chase: I understand, kid. It was tough on all of us, so I can't imagine what you went through.
Robert: Yeah. So, what's up? You gonna tell me why you look like black Einstein?
Blonde Blazer: Sorry. I never noticed.
Chase: Fucker. It's the powers. I could move fifty times faster than the average person, but I didn't realize until it was too late that I was aging fifty times faster when I used my powers.
Chase: Nowadays I'm movin' slower than frozen piss to keep the ole ticker from poppin' on me.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "That's cruel."
> Robert: That's a pretty cruel fate, Chase. What kinda awful shit did you do to deserve that?
> Chase: Right? This is some war criminal level punishment. No, I was just out tryin' to help people like a fuckin' chump. This is why I know karma is bullshit.
> Option 2 - "I'm so sorry."
> Robert: I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Chase.
> Chase: Hey, if I feel another ounce of pity from you, I will run you over in the parking lot and say it was an accident. They'll believe me cause it looks like I'm wearin' diapers.
> Option 3 - "So, how old are you?"
> Robert: Then how old are you really?
> Chase: I turned thirty-nine a few months ago. Went to Dave and Busters. Shit was lit.
Robert: So, I guess this means you're the one person I can't complain to about losing my suit.
Chase: You better not. I would resurrect then rekill your fuckin father in front of you if it meant being able to use my powers again.
Blonde Blazer: Jesus, Chase.
Chase: What? Obviously, I'd let Robert have one last "I love you" before I... before I extinguish the light from his eyes.
Blonde Blazer: Was he always like this?
Robert: Yes, actually.
Chase: We joke. We laugh. We suppress our trauma.
Chase: Alright, enough of this feelings shit, let's introduce you to your team of losers.
Chase: Now, if I'm being honest, I thought, and still think, we shoulda canned these tunas months ago.
Blonde Blazer: And you might get your wish. Cause if we don't see improvement soon, the whole program will be scrapped.
Robert: Cool. No pressure.
---
SCENE 6: PHOENIX PROGRAM - TEAM DOSSIERS
Setting: Chase boots up old computers and Robert clicks through the roster of reformed super villains. The Phoenix Program, also known as the Z-Team, is a rehabilitation program for former villains to become heroes.
Robert: Wait, so uh the Z-Team, my team... they're Phoenix Program?
Blonde Blazer: That is correct.
Chase: Your own motley crew of dangerous fuck ups.
Blonde Blazer: We're not looking for miracles... but we'd love one if we can get it. Can you show him his desk?
Chase: Sure.
Chase: What's that arm squeeze about?
Robert: You want one? Here.
Chase: Fuck off.
Chase: This is you. Pretty sparse but feel free to decorate.
Robert: This computer's older than you look. Wait. So, we're doing this? I haven't even met the team yet?
Chase: We did the slide show.
Robert: First of all, that wasn't a slide show...
Chase: Look, we like to start slow. Most people don't make it past the first dispatch. And this is better for everybody's safety.
Robert: What do you mean safety?
Chase: You'll be fine-- And this here is our little slice of the Southland. Whenever there's a crisis in the area, we get a call and guess who answers?
Robert: Me.
Chase: Exactly. Now put your headset on and introduce yourself to these pricks.
Invisigal: Can I get eyes down here, please?
Robert: What does that mean?
Chase: She's asking for a tap in. We've got access to security cams of SDN subscribers all over our territory.
Robert: Wow. Really? Is that legal?
Chase: Don't ask questions. Just always make sure to read the fine print.
---
SCENE 6.1: GRANNY'S DONUTS - FIRST DISPATCH
Setting: The first dispatch call of the shift. Invisigal responds to an alarm at Granny's Donuts.
Invisigal: I didn't do this.
Robert: Right. I feel like you've said that a lot in your life. What happened?
Invisigal: This is how I found the place. The old guy, who I assume is Granny, was laying here when I walked in. Hey what's your favorite donut?
Robert: Can you just focus? What, you got ADHD or something?
Invisigal: Yes, fucker. Is it that obvious?
Robert: Yes, fucker. It is.
Invisigal: Well, then answer the question.
Invisigal: I don't wanna sit here and fixate on it when we're supposed to be doing... whatever. Superhero shit.
Robert's donut preference choices (cosmetic, trophy tied to least-popular pick):
> Option 1 - "Jelly filled."
> Robert: A jelly donut, okay? I mean I will eat anything if you pack enough jelly in it.
> Invisigal: So, you're into squirters. You like that gush in your throat. Cool, okay. Say less.
> Option 2 - "Plain glazed."
> Robert: Just a plain ass glazed donut. You happy?
> Invisigal: Not as happy as you with that glaze all over you, huh? Do you slap that donut around on your face a little before you put it in your mouth?
> Option 3 - "The long cream ones."
> Robert: Those uh, long ones with the cream inside.
> Invisigal: Oh you like a dick donut.
> Robert: Um, no, they're called --
> Invisigal: You love big long cream filled dick donuts. I got it, dude. You like your dick donuts up in your throat in your ass or both?
Robert: Yup. You got me. I love gobbling on hot sloppy donuts. Love 'em from my mouth to my butt--
Robert: --Howzit goin'? First day. Thanks for asking me that so you could get all your funny funny jokes out. Now can we maybe address--
Robert: --the body in the room. What're you doing? You gonna poke it with a stick? Check his pulse.
Invisigal: Granny is alive. Thank Christ. I didn't want to have to lip this guy. So, can I go now?
Robert: No. This isn't a wellness check. It's a B&E. Let's figure out if the perp is still there.
Invisigal: Perp? B&E? Okay, Lieutenant... Fuck I can't think of a character from a cop show.
Robert: Cool, well why don't you stay put and work on that while I get another camera up online.
Chase: She's my least favorite... the worst of the lot.
Robert: That surprises me. You guys got similar energy. How do I switch cameras?
Chase: Just click the side there and you can cycle all the cameras in the building.
Robert: It's weird getting tech advice from an old person.
Chase: Bro, I'm not even forty yet.
Robert: Weird hearing bro from an old person.
Invisigal: Dan? Lieutenant Dan? Is that -- is that a thing?
Robert: Yes. I am the legless Vietnam vet from Forrest Gump. Sick burn.
Robert: Am I doing something wrong? Pushing that button just says 'Access Denied'.
Chase: Ah dammit. Sometimes people add extra security. They don't understand it just makes it harder for us to do our jobs.
Invisigal: Hey what's taking so long? Are you sleeping or something or are you just bad at your job?
Robert: Alright, what do we got here...
Invisigal: Perp? B&E? Who're you, Lieutenant Dan?
Robert: Hey, shut up for a sec. You're not alone.
Robert: He's coming your way. Armed. You need to disappear.
Invisigal: Why're you whispering, you idiot? You're in my ear.
Robert: Go! Now!
Invisigal: Goddamnit.
Invisigal: This bitch is a gusher.
Robert: Invisigal, he's still armed. Be careful.
Invisigal: I got this Lieutenant Dan.
Invisigal: Nevermind!
Invisigal: Got any more great advice?
Robert's quick command choices:
> Option 1 - "Duck!"
> Robert: Duck!
> Option 2 - "Go invisible!"
> Robert: Disappear!
Lightningstruck: Shit!
Lightningstruck: Gotcha now, Invisibitch.
Robert: Invisigal, just hold him off while I find a way to help.
Robert: I can use the overhead sprinklers to short out his blaster.
Lightningstruck: Fuck!
Robert: Dammit, I'm locked out.
Invisigal: Granny. I don't think you know how to use that thing so why don't you--
Granny: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Invisigal: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm one of the good guys...
Granny: You? Yeah right. Don't fuck with me, okay? Nobody fucks Granny!
Granny: NOBODY FUCKS WITH GRANNY!
Robert: Invisigal, stay calm...
Invisigal: Great fuckin' advice, Lieutenant Dan.
Robert: Stop calling me Lieutenant Dan 'cause the joke doesn't work and you sound dumb.
Robert's command options (Invisigal does the opposite of what you command):
> Option 1 - "Disarm Granny." (Invisigal attacks the thief)
> Robert: Okay, disarm Granny before that thing blows his face off. It looks super unstable.
> Invisigal: Oh so your expert opinion is to attack the client? Fuck that. I did things your way and it turned to shit. I'm taking out the guy who's been trying to kill me.
> Robert: That wasn't a suggestion. It's a direct--
> Robert: Hey! Invisigal, are you okay? Hey! Are you okay? Come in!
> Invisigal: I'm fine... but this guy... less fine.
> Invisigal: Smells like bacon a little. It's gross but it's also kinda not bad.
> Robert: Yeah, great okay. Where's the perp?
> Option 2 - "Take out the Thief." (Invisigal attacks Granny)
> Robert: Granny doesn't even know how to shoot that thing. Take out the thief first. He's the only one with his finger on a trigger.
> Invisigal: You know what, it's my life on the line, I'm done listening to you. That thing is gonna blow that man's arm off and this whole building with me in it. Fuck off. I'm disarming the device.
> Robert: No, Invisigal that's a direct order--
> Robert: Oh, fuck. Fuck! Invisigal? You there? Come in! Invisigal!
> Invisigal: Fuck this guy's heavy. Granny's clearly a fan of his own work.
> Invisigal: Really wasn't expecting to see that. He's kinda caked up.
> Invisigal: So, where's the perp, Lieutenant?
> Robert: I think he must've had something else to do, 'cause he left.
> Invisigal: I mean, this is why you have insurance, right?
Robert: Ah Jesus Christ you gotta be fucking kidding me.
Invisigal: This feels like a win to me.
Chase: That was... pretty good. For a first day. Sometimes people... you know, get electrical burns.
Robert: She disobeyed a direct order.
Chase: Well, that's the problem. This isn't the army, and these ain't soldiers. They are fuckin' super villains. Look, why don't you take a breather? We can debrief with Blazer in a bit. Here...
Chase: There's vending machines in the break room. You look like you could use a snack.
Robert: Are you sure you're not actually eighty years old?
---
SCENE 7: BREAK ROOM - CONFRONTATION WITH INVISIGAL
Setting: After the Granny's Donuts incident, Invisigal confronts Robert in the break room.
Sonar: AAAAAAAAGH!
Invisigal: Hey.
Robert: Ah--shit.
Invisigal: What kind of superhero flinches?
Invisigal: I didn't say which superhero. Chill out.
Robert: If you had people trying to kill you for the last fifteen years you'd be jumpy too.
Invisigal: What makes you think my life has been any different?
Invisigal: You think growing up surrounded by a buncha shitbag villains I didn't need to watch my back?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "I can't just disappear." (No change)
> Robert: I can't just disappear, okay? I actually have to face my problems.
> Option 2 - "You chose that life." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: Yeah, well, you had a choice. No one made you pick a life of crime.
> Option 3 - "You need better friends." (No change)
> Robert: Yeah, well, I guess you should do a better job picking your friends.
Invisigal: What the fuck?
Robert: You can't just go around--
Sonar: AAAAAAAAGH!
Robert: Why's he keep screaming?
Invisigal: His name's Sonar.
Robert: Yeah, I know what Sonar means.
Sonar: What's up?
Invisigal: Then why are you asking why he keeps screaming?
Robert: Uh she was just explaining your um-- you know what? Nevermind. Good shift.
Sonar: This guy's weird.
Invisigal: Yeah he is. Look, I actually just came by to celebrate the mission going well.
Invisigal: Didn't mean to interrupt your little snack. Whaddayou need it pre-chewed like a little baby bird bitch?
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "You ignored my order." (No change)
> Robert: Look at me, you disobeyed a direct order. How can you think it went well?
> Option 2 - "You think that went well?" (No change)
> Robert: You seriously think that went well?
> Invisigal: No. I think it went great.
> Option 3 - "I told Chase you disobeyed." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: I told Chase what happened. That you disobeyed a direct order.
> Invisigal: You tattled on me?
> Robert: Tattled? Are you five? I told him the truth.
> Invisigal: You fucking snitched. That's what that is.
Robert: You trashed the place. The suspect got away and you got the client hurt. I don't think when he called us he thought he'd be ending the day wanking it leftie cause you turned his other arm into a pork rind.
Invisigal: Granny would be fine if Granny didn't pick that fuckin thing up in the first place. He's just some dumbass trying to be a hero-- and don't fuckin say it. I know where you're going.
Robert: You trashed the place. The suspect got away, you got the client hurt. You think when that guy signed up for SDN, that it'd result in the back of his ballsack getting scorched? Cause they don't mention that in the commercials.
Invisigal: First of all, the place was trashed when I got there. Second, I'm sure Granny would take some crispy nuts over losing his arm. As far as the bad guy... fuck shit happens.
Robert: Fact of the matter is that shit didn't need to happen. We could have had an outcome where the client doesn't get fried and we get the perp, if you had just fucking listened to me. You ask for help, then I-- what now?
Robert: I make the calls. Not you.
Invisigal: Here's some advice. You're right at home behind that desk. Cause you're no hero. You were a nerd playing a video game in a suit your daddy built.
Invisigal: Now, you're a twitchy little bitch turtle without it's shell. A real hero puts their ass on the line. A real hero can't just press a button to make their problems disappear.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "The suit isn't Mecha Man." (No change)
> Robert: The suit isn't what made me a superhero. It was how I did my fuckin job that made me Mecha Man.
> Option 2 - "I'm the real hero here." (-1 Robert Mentor Counter)
> Robert: Let me make this clear. You're not half the hero that I am. Not now, not ever.
> Option 3 - "You need me." (No change)
> Robert: The fact of the matter is, you need me, way more than I need you.
Robert: Based on what I saw today, you wouldn't last a day as Mecha Man, cause there isn't a mech suit in the universe that'll keep you from being a selfish fuckin' asshole.
Invisigal: Aaaaaaaarrgh!
Invisigal: Feel bad? Good. Fuck you!
Robert: [sigh]
Sonar: You gonna eat those twinks?
Robert: That's not what they're-- ya know what, help yourself.
---
SCENE 8: DEBRIEF WITH BLONDE BLAZER AND CHASE
Setting: Blonde Blazer and Chase debrief Robert after his first shift.
Blonde Blazer: What happened to your nose?
Robert: Hmm?
Chase: Here we go...
Blonde Blazer: You have a tissue hanging from your nose, Robert. I was trying to ignore it but that became impossible when it started soaking in blood.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "The air's dry." (No change)
> Robert: Uh, I get nosebleeds when it's this dry. The air. In the office. It's uh... on the dry side.
> Blonde Blazer: Is it on the dry side? I'll have facilities look into it.
> Option 2 - "I bumped my head." (No change)
> Robert: I don't know, I just sorta bumped my head... I guess.
> Blonde Blazer: Right... when I think of someone bumping their head, it's the back of their head. Your nose, your bloody nose, is the same place as your eyes... which is on your face.
> Robert: Right, yeah. I guess I bumped my face then.
> Option 3 - "Invisigal punched me." (Blonde Blazer less trusting)
> Robert: Invisigal punched me in the face. But I asked for it.
> Blonde Blazer: Robert. This is serious.
> Robert: It's not. I asked for it.
> Blonde Blazer: Okay, there's nothing you could have said that warrants her hitting you.
> Robert: Would it be different if I said I literally asked for her to hit me in the face, and then she did it?
> Blonde Blazer: I... suppose.
> Robert: Okay, then, let's go with that.
Blonde Blazer: Alright, boys. We're here to assess Robert's first shift and aside from whatever... happened here... I thought it was pretty good.
Robert: What?
Chase: Told ya, Robbie.
Blonde Blazer: I was watching on the monitor. The work you did dispatching, I don't think the Z-Team has ever had a better shift than that.
Chase: We just might need to confront the fact that it might be the best they can do. Especially the way the Granny thing went.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah now, the Granny's situation, that wasn't ideal, but I've seen so much worse with Invisigal.
Chase: Let's be real. She ain't gonna make it.
Blonde Blazer: She's difficult to work with, sure, but I see a lot of promise in her. Really. Even the other Z-Teamers respect her.
Chase: They're afraid of her.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "She disobeyed an order."
> Robert: She disobeyed a direct order.
> Chase: That's kind of her thing. It's why we're so hopeful you can help her.
> Robert: And I'm happy to do it, but you know...
> Option 2 - "The perp got away."
> Robert: The perp got away, how is that an acceptable outcome?
> Chase: Shit happens.
> Option 3 - "I could've done better."
> Robert: I should have done better. Maybe a couple wires got crossed towards the end there. I could've been more clear with her.
> Chase: You crossed zero wires, okay. She crossed them for you.
Blonde Blazer: Look Robert... you should be proud. The bar is very low with this group.
Robert: Well, it's not low for me. Look, I like to make a joke and keep things light as much as the next person, but when it comes to work... I'm not fucking around here. If you want the Phoenix Program to survive, the bar needs to go up.
Blonde Blazer: And how would we do that?
Robert: By treating the Z-Team like what they are... a bunch of villains. And leading a supervillain team takes a different approach than a superhero team. I need to be around them. I need them to see I'm all in and they need to match that energy.
Chase: Some tough love.
Robert: The only kind I know, and based on what I've seen, the only version they'll respond to. I'm not saying everyone'll make it, they won't. And I'm not saying it won't get spicy, it will. But when it does, I also need you to trust me to handle it. I don't want you stepping in. They need to respect me. Even if I don't have powers.
Blonde Blazer: Okay. We'll do it your way. Monday, we'll get them in a room and introduce them to their new supervillain leader.
Robert: I can't promise it'll work, I can only promise that I'll do my best.
Chase: Ha. No fuckin' way it's gonna work. But it'll be way more fun to watch.
Blonde Blazer: Chase. Some optimism please?
Chase: Goddamnit, yeah I also promise to do my best.
---
SCENE 9: END OF SHIFT - WATERBOY
Setting: After the debrief, Robert discovers Waterboy cleaning up a donut that was smashed on his desk.
Robert: Hey, kid...
Robert: What're you doing?
Waterboy: Wha-- yeah, no-- No. No! I didn't did this. It's, uh, weird cause yeah, I saw this lady smiling lad-- lady-- person put a donut on your, uhm, desk earlier-- previously and it's was nice-- nicely on a napkin, but then sh-- just-- she comes back and she just went craz-- like evil... mode and hit-- smashed the same donut--
Robert: What a mess.
Waterboy: I'll-- will clean it.
Robert: What, no, no, no, no.
Waterboy: No-- yes, see. I'm SDN's newer-- newest he-- he-- here-- heeee--
Robert: Hero?
Waterboy: ...helpful janitor. Helpful janitor.
Robert: Okay. Cool.
Waterboy: So, it's my pleases-- pleasure-- and it's-- my job. Which you helped me get. So, thank you. Thank you so much.
Robert: Happy to help.
Blonde Blazer: That's-- it's Friday, I'm not gonna ask. You headed out?
Robert: Oh, yeah, uhm... great. Thanks kid.
Blonde Blazer: Welcome to the team, Waterboy.
Waterboy: Yeah-- welcome to you-- you too.
---
SCENE 10: AFTER HOURS - PHENOMAMAN REVEAL
Setting: As Robert prepares to leave for the day, Blonde Blazer approaches him, followed by Phenomaman in the parking lott, who is revealed to be her boyfriend.
Blonde Blazer: Hey, I want you to know, us fixing your suit is not contingent on you fixing the Z-Team. I wouldn't do that to you.
Robert: That's good to know.
Blonde Blazer: But don't worry about that. I'm just really glad you're here, Robert. I think we're going to do some great things together.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Thanks for setting this up." (Neutral)
> Robert: Hey look, I really appreciate you setting this up. It's exactly what I need right now and it'll get me that much more excited to be back out there.
> Option 2 - "Do you want to grab dinner?" (Romantic undertone)
> Robert: Hey, so do you wanna grab dinner? Or something? It's dinner time so I assumed that maybe, you know...
> Option 3 - "I'm glad I'm here too." (Neutral)
> Robert: I'm uh, I'm really glad I'm here too.
Blonde Blazer: Actually... there's something I've been meaning to tell you... It's a little awkward to mention, but since the other night, I--
[The camera suddenly pans up in the parking lot showing phenomenon as he lands with dark music depending on if you kissed a Blonde Blazer]
Phenomaman: Blonde Blazer.
Phenomaman: Are you ready to go?
Phenomaman: Who is this? I thought I'd catalogued all of your work companions.
Blonde Blazer: Robert, this is my... boyfriend, Phenomaman...
Blonde Blazer: This is our new dispatcher I was telling you about, Robert.
Phenomaman: The third Robert Robertson? Leader of the Phoenixes? Blonde Blazer told me about you.
Robert: Really? Did she, uh, say... what came up in that talk?
Phenomaman: She said you're a capable, honorable man that truly cares for others. Why are you so small?
Blonde Blazer: Hey, come on. You gotta stop asking people that.
Phenomaman: The way you spoke of him made him sound impressive. I only seek to understand. I apologize. How was his first day? Was his lack of size and strength an issue?
Blonde Blazer: No he was great. It was great. It was a great first day.
Phenomaman: That is phenomenal. We should celebrate. Blonde Blazer and I have reservations in Tokyo at a restaurant where the owner dreams of sushi. You should join us.
Phenomaman: I'm sure they could accommodate one more. Especially, a special occasion like this.
Robert's dialogue options:
> Option 1 - "Sorry, I already ate." (Improves relationships)
> Robert: Oh, that sounds great, but I spoiled my appetite eating sweets all day.
> Phenomaman: A shame. Another time then.
> Robert: For sure.
> Option 2 - "Gotta get home to my dog." (Improves relationships)
> Robert: Actually, I gotta get home to my dog. He's very needy.
> Phenomaman: Of course. To be responsible for another life is a beautiful thing, even if that life is a dog life.
> Robert: Yeah. Right.
> Option 3 - "Yeah, sounds fun." (Damages relationship with Blonde Blazer, intrusive)
> Robert: Oh yeah, wow that sounds just amazing. I would love to join.
> Phenomaman: Phenomenal!
> Blonde Blazer: Actually... I don't know if we can add one more to the reservation.
> Blonde Blazer: And more importantly, in order for us to get there in time, we'd have to hit supersonic speed and Robert here...
> Phenomaman: Oh, would he die?
> Blonde Blazer: Yeah, I think he would die.
> Phenomaman: Oh no. Perhaps another time?
> Robert: Yeah for sure.
Blonde Blazer: He flies a little faster.
Phenomaman: It was very nice to meet you, third Robert Robertson.
Robert: Pleasure was--
Phenomaman: Now could you step back? The power of my launch has been to known to stun small beings. Phenomenal.
---
PHOENIX PROGRAM - TEAM DOSSIERS
Setting: Blonde Blazer and Chase provide background information on each member of the Z-Team.
Blonde Blazer: Invisigal. Who you met. Turned herself in a few months ago and entered the program on the condition we didn't ask questions.
Robert: That's a little suspicious, no?
Chase: Suspicious? Really? Of a criminal that turns invisible and doesn't like to answer questions? What tipped you off, Sherlock?
Robert: Okay, grandpa.
Chase: That's not funny. Of course it's suspicious. But Blazer here has a soft spot for her. I'da cut her ages ago.
Blonde Blazer: I'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Her biggest problem now is she's the absolute bottom of the leaderboards.
Blonde Blazer: Sonar here was a Harvard graduate who--
Chase: Who will not shut the fuck up about being a Harvard graduate, like all Harvard graduates.
Blonde Blazer: Who also orchestrated some of the most effective Silicon Valley investment frauds in US history. Also...
Chase: Also, sometimes he transforms into a fuckin' bat monster that would eat you ass-first after he emptied your pension plan.
Blonde Blazer: For the record, he hasn't eaten anybody's butt since he's been here. We got him on a meal plan.
Blonde Blazer: Flambae. He --
Robert: -- "controls the fire and the flame and his skin does not burn."
Chase: Right, you've met him. Didn't you have a run in with him years back?
Robert: I did, yeah.
Chase: So, you know he's a certifiable dickhead.
Blonde Blazer: But, he's also one of the team's most capable heroes.
Chase: Capable like a fuckin' bomb is capable of leveling a city block.
Chase: Punch Up.
Blonde Blazer: Carnival strong man who made a deal with a sorceress. She gave him the strength of ten men. His muscles grew--
Blonde Blazer: --but his body shrunk.
Chase: He's got all the charm and brains of a greasy bowling ball.
Chase: Prism. Michigan born and raised. Her power is weird. She weaponizes light rays or some shit. A lot of this stuff is a guess.
Robert: Why does she dress like a pop star?
Blonde Blazer: She's actually super talented.
Blonde Blazer: That's Golem. He is a construct.
Robert: A construct?
Blonde Blazer: Yeah, a bunch of dirt and mud made sentient with magic.
Blonde Blazer: I think he's lonely.
Blonde Blazer: Malevola, terrifying. She's got a magic sword and she creates portals that allow her to teleport.
Chase: And somehow she's still late for every fucking meeting.
Blonde Blazer: Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does that on purpose.
Blonde Blazer: Here we have Coupé, which I recently learned is a French ballet term that means, to cut. Hence the knives.
Robert: That's very clever.
Chase: Yeah, but it sounds dumb to say so everybody calls her Coop. She was an assassin for the mob then went independent.
---
Z-TEAM INTRODUCTION
Setting: Robert introduces himself to the Z-Team over the comms.
Robert: Hey team. This is your dispatcher, Robert Robertson. I'm starting my first shift--
Prism: Tell me that's not your real fuckin' name?
Flambae: You stuttering bitch? You can't be this shook on your first day, come on.
Sonar: Robert. Roberts. Robertson. Roberts. Roberto. Bobert.
Robert: Can we clear the channel please. There's a lot of overlapping--
Invisigal: I saw him in his underwear.
Prism: Who? Roberto Robertson?
Invisigal: I saw him in his underwear.
Prism: He packing much?
Invisigal: No, but he's got lots of bruises. Which I'm into.
Robert: Again, please clear the channel--
Coupé: We get it, you're emo--
Chase: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Chase: Let me remind you! These calls are fucking recorded for training fucking purposes! So keep the fucking line clear before we send your stupid fucking asses back to whatever fucking cell we pulled your stupid fucking asses out of! Aight?
---
ADDITIONAL GAMEPLAY DIALOGUE
Robert: Why does a donut shop even need extra security?
Invisigal: Helloooo?
Robert: [irritated sigh]
Robert: Keep up the good work Robert!
Blonde Blazer: Answering calls successfully, keeping the team out of danger, all of that looks good on your performance review.
Blonde Blazer: Let's talk more in my office later.
Robert: Okay, what's uh going on with Sonar?
Malevola: Oh, that? Yeah. He kinda randomly turns into a monster sometimes.
Robert: Randomly?
Malevola: We're... working on controlling it.
Sonar: [SCREEEEEEECH]
Malevola: Yeah, it's um... it's slow going.
Robert: Come on, come on, come on...
Robert: Okay, now back to this one...
Invisigal: [struggling grunts]
Invisigal: Fuck...you...Lightning...dick.
Robert: Got 'em.
---
MECHA MAN DISCUSSION
Punch Up: You know who we saw at that bar last night? Mecha Man.
Coupé: And he kicked Flambae's ass.
Flambae: Okay-okay, that little shit did not kick my ass.
Coupé: He did though.
Robert: Yeah, I think I heard about that.
Flambae: No, you didn't, because it didn't happen, Bob Bob. So we're all going to shut up about it. Yeah? Okay.
Invisigal: So, what was your read on this Mecha Man guy?
Punch Up: Washed up. Drinking alone. A robot guy without his robot, I guess.
Malevola: So... just a guy.
Sonar: Hear that, Flambae? You got your ass kicked by 'just a guy'.
Flambae: All of you -- shut the fuck up.
Robert: Did you start that fire?
Flambae: No.
Robert: The fire that's burning two blocks from where you're standing. You didn't start that?
Flambae: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm on break, so how could I know?
Robert: Flambae, stop fucking around. I've got enough problems without you making new ones.
Flambae: Whatever man.
---
THE LAST GUY BET
Punch Up: Uh, I'll take Wednesday.
Coupé: Tuesday.
Malevola: Dibs on Monday.
Robert: What are you guys talking about?
Invisigal: We're taking bets on when you'll quit.
Golem: Hmm... Friday?
Robert: Today's Friday.
Golem: I know.
Robert: How long was the last dispatcher here?
Flambae: Two days. New record.
Robert: How the fuck did that happen?
Flambae: I set his car on fire. Yeah. Very flammable. Kia Soul.
---
VANDERSTENK DISCUSSION
Prism: Who is this Vanderstink guy?
Sonar: Willem Vanderstenk. Certified genius. Literally. He has a certificate.
Prism: You aren't a genius if you need a piece of paper that says you're a genius.
Sonar: You're just jealous. This guy rules.
---
